Oct 20 2009
High School: The Best (Worst) Days of Your Teen’s Life . . .
High School is rough!
Somehow there is this societal idea that high school is the “best years of your life”, where did that come from? When I look at the lives the students that I have worked with, I can see how that common misconception can lead students to wonder, “what the heck is the point!” Afterall, if high school is as good as it gets, what is there to hope for in life!
I hope that each teen has someone in his/her life who tells them the truth, that high school is not the best of times, but may very well be the worst of times instead. High school and the events therein are so idealized by TV and movies that students come in with this idea that they will have lots of friends, look amazing, breeze through classes, and graduate with honors engaged to the love of their lives and live happily ever after. The truth is that high school is hard. The transition is hard. The drama can be completely overwhelming and in this age of the internet and technology the damage from a fight or rumor can be widespread and incredibly painful.
There are things that can be done to help teens deal with the reality of high school vs. the idealized version in the societal mindset.
1. Talk with them. Talk about school, not just about the classes but about friends,drama, the internet, teachers, clubs, sports, etc. I know that most of their issues may seem trivial, but listen anyway. Encourage the conversation and remember that while you recognize the fight with Julie as something temporary and not a big deal, to your child it seems HUGE!
2. Don’t shy away from the hard conversations. Talking about sex and drugs with your teen might seem difficult and may well be uncomfortable,but you have to dive in and have those conversations. The more you talk about these issues as the years go by, the easier it will be for your teen to come to you when things get complicated in his/her life. Be prepared to talk to your child about STDs, the realities of pregnancy, the emotional toll of sex, the physiological effects of recreational drugs,etc. Tough topics for sure, but the more knowledge your child has, the better off they will be in dealing with misinformation and peer pressure.
3. Help your child focus on the goal. Things will sometimes be rough, but if there are goals and an end, it can make things easier to overcome. Talk about what will happen after high school, encourage desires and dreams and try to incorporate them into your family’s lives or activities.
4. Love and support them! When it all comes down to it,all of these suggestions are just ways to support your child. Teens are surprisingly reliant on parental interest. I cannot tell you how many crushed teens I have talked with when parents were unable or unwilling to attend school events. Having a parent show up to the meet,the play, the ceremony, can make a huge difference for students. I know that you may not be able to make it to everything your child does, but do your best and remember,even if they don’t tell you it is important that you are there, it is!
While high school certainly wasn’t the worst time of my life in hindsight I rather enjoyed it, I had friends and looked good other then the occasional zit. But you are 100% right it is certainly not the best time of our lives its more a emotional roller coaster transition where we are suppose to be becoming adults and actually think we already are.
During highschool we are unsure of ourselves, cruel, emotional and certainly not at our best for the most part…. I would truly hate for that to be the high point of anyones life.
The best times of our lives happen all through our lives…. mine so far were playing outside with my brother as a child… painting a beautiful mural… time I spent as a volunteer in an old age home reading and sharing with a couple seniors… followed by meeting my husband and the 5.5 years spent with my daughter (everyday I have incredible special moments with her).
The high points of our lives continue throughout our lives…